By: Keaton Marcus

DISCLAIMER: IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 13, YOU MUST ASK YOUR PARENTS IF YOU ARE ALLOWED, IF THEY SAY NO…IT MEANS NO!

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After years of waiting, Robert Rodriguez has finally made manga adaptation “Alita: Battle Angel”, it’s all bells and whistles, with nothing but scraps to go along. James Cameron was supposed to direct this high-concept science fiction film, which does make sense, considering his massive successes with the "Terminator" franchise, "Alien" and especially the groundbreaking "Avatar". However, Cameron ended handing it over to Rodriguez, who seldom works with expensive budgets. Not the right choice. It sure does have the special effects, but any plot gets lost within the manic action.

It may be the least important part in a film such as this, but here’s the story. Alita (Rosa Salazar), was found dismembered in a junkyard by Dr. Dyson Ido (Christoph Waltz), and brought back to her full form. While attempting to recover her memory, Vector (Mahershala Ali) threatens to use Alita’s advanced technology for spare parts. Acknowledging the danger, she enlists help from the street-smart Hugo (Keean Johnson) to aid her in searching for the true past. Sure, its interesting, but the majority of the intrigue is barely found within this two-hour piece of mediocre cinema. Got to hand it to the visual effects artists, but not towards Rodriguez.

Rosa Salazar, who portrays the cyborg Alita, get’s the basic rules right, but should have been far more exciting. There’s chemistry between Waltz and Salazar, and at times, audiences may get a touching moment or two, but it’s not often. That’s right, the sporadic emotion can too rarely overcome the muddled intelligence. There’s even a love story between the two characters, but as it drags on and on and on, it eventually leads nowhere, decapitating any extra credit. Although the cinema shouldn’t exactly have an actual issue with the performance, those saucer-sized peepers, and a lack of finesse keep Salazar from achieving something greater. That, throughout the picture, never happens.

The movie was written by James Cameron. I mean, what the heck, dude. Mr. Cameron is quite literally the king of sci-fi flicks, and even broke ground in the romance genre with the 200 million “Titanic”. The fact that he couldn’t execute a little production such as this is deeply unsatisfying. The romantic overtones, and the compelling screenplay aren’t there, and all that’s left are bits and pieces of eye-candy, or a couple crack-ups. Cameron may have injected his visual style into the movie, but his first collaboration with Rodriguez didn’t pan out. That’s horribly surprising, and sure isn’t the present you want on your birthday: style, but no substance. Maybe die-hard fans of the genre will be more than sufficiently entertained, but otherwise, “Alita: Battle Angel” fails to hook non-followers. That, my friends, is its greatest fault.

The final opinion is: “Alita: Battle Angel” has a certain amount of visual panache, and style, but a distinct lack of both intelligence and a solid screenplay make the non-stop action sequences its only claim to fame…$KIP IT

By: Keaton Marcus

Box Office Info:

Opening: 28.5M

Domestic Total: 85.7M

Worldwide Total: 404.8M