By: Keaton Marcus

PREFACE:

Charlie Kaufman's I'm Thinking of Ending Things, released last year, is widely known now as his most divisive work. Have pretentiousness and self-indulgence gone too far? Or was this the rawest form of genius moviegoers have witnessed in a long time? I would stand far more with the latter opinion. Of course, it's easily understandable to critique the film for being excessive, but wow, this is a crushingly brutal examination of the depressing concept of mortal existence. We all die, and patches in life accentuate the idea of our transient lives. Kaufman, known for his existentialist themes, has likely made his best and most emotionally involving portrait of this feeling yet. Now, delving into this confounding experience will be a tricky bit, so let's get to it.

TWO VERSIONS OF ONE:

Even if all of the movies weren't completely clear on first viewing, one aspect always stood out to me as apparent. There are two versions of one of the main characters, which happens to be Jake. The janitor, who plays like the older one grounded in his terror of death, imagines himself younger and more attractive. The youthful version is the one we see more often, as he's a part of the general plotline of the film. Kaufman hints that these two seemingly divergent beings are the exact several times throughout. In contrast to how the novel portrays it, Kaufman cuts between the janitor's banal life and the main storyline consistently enough for audiences to realize a connection. However, it's never directly said to us, only slightly hinted for us to assume, a respectful filmmaking practice. Through simultaneous and concurrent timelines, the janitor and younger Jake's stories flow together during the film's running time. While contemplating his existence in the school's dull halls, it almost seems like he imagines this entire other story play out. The narrative in question, if one could have guessed, is the story of his youthful self. Only with severe existentialist dread and depression, the collection of feelings that haunt this man has allowed him to create another wishful persona that will never come true.

FANTASY AND REALITY CONNECT:

Readers may be wondering about the fact that Kaufman's way of storytelling could get choppy and unfocused, but he avoids this roadblock by blending fantasy and reality. Various other pieces of cinema have gone down this road before, but rarely this complex and nuanced. The school in which the older janitor works commonly impacts the figments that come from his imagination. For specific examples, it's best to look at the Oklahoma rehearsal and the fake Robert Zemeckis film playing on the television with the janitor watching both. The movie distorts the audience's perception of self and how Kaufman's fantastical side of Jake may not be so...Fantastical. How so? Viewers are forced to question if the janitor recalls his actual younger self or if he's making it all up from his desirous obsession to be ideal. Hopefulness, attractiveness, perhaps even genuine love are factors in life that this janitor admires and traits that he unfortunately lacks. Aging can be terrifying, even looking at the future from a younger age may do the trick. It's disheartening, discouraging, and overall dismal despite its evident relatability, but also quite beautiful in a sense. Oddly enough, the janitor "imagines" himself as a 32-year-old, unexpected considering what audiences assume he wants. However, with closer scrutiny at this man's invention, we realize that this certain age is right on the turning point of adulthood. Those years are especially crucial in finding purpose and conceivably romance before it gets too late.

THE WOMAN:

Lucy, the woman that younger Jake is assumedly in love with, is with him for the entirety of his storyline. She could be the romance I was referring to earlier, but why does the janitor imagine or recall her? I believe that her entire character is a product of self-reflection on failure in those few special years before the declining part of life. The janitor either remembers or wishes that he had this experience or kept this experience long enough to have a fulfilling time on Earth. Now, old, disheveled, and abandoned, he will never have the chance to love again. Heartbreaking, right? But only if one understands the movie to the fullest extent. Without precise analysis, viewers will find a lack of emotional connection with any film's characters. Disappointingly, this is likely why the film divided most audiences. Now, back on topic, maybe the janitor even wonders if he could have avoided all the suffering he's feeling inside now. Was Lucy, or could Lucy, have been the resolution to everything occurring in the present? It's interesting to ponder for sure, and yet another question Kaufman brings to the table already full of them. Unfortunately, even if the janitor thinks that this woman would have helped his sorrow, the director takes such a cynically saddening approach to give us the answer. Lucy, who narrates some of the films, constantly repeats the phrase "I'm thinking of ending things," which relates to her wanting to close out the relationship with young Jake. In other words, she doesn't love him enough. Or at least in the janitor's head, alluding to the fact that these thoughts could all be products of failure in confidence. Even in the story he made up, this man cannot escape his introverted mind, and his bemoaning is harrowing to experience. Supporting this wild claim, Lucy's story about their meeting changes, and by the end, it takes on the form of "a creepy guy picked me up at the bar" scenario. She barely even lets younger Jake touch her throughout. Overall, there's hardly any romance in their romance.

THE FINAL DANCE:

The sequence that left many, including me, absolutely distraught on first viewing was the dancing scene. Playing out in such fantastically artistic fashion, this is where Kaufman highlights the janitor's fears to let himself win in even his own fiction. As the movie culminates towards its thrilling conclusion, two conventionally more attractive people replace younger Jake and Lucy in a romantically intact dance. They lovingly and elegantly mascarade through the school's halls, only in existence through the janitor's troubled thoughts. However, another version of the janitor, still old and unattractive, is an absolute menace to the couple. He attacks the young woman and ends up killing the man. So what's this all about? Honestly, we will never fully know, but it's good to speculate. I think it's once again a fleeting moment of terror that this man has—the fear of how he treats others, particularly the woman or Lucy. The fact that through his quiet rage at existence, his inner being becomes a monster and lashes out at his lust for living life to the fullest. A vicious cycle of circular disillusionment is more powerful than anything, claims the film, and it does so ambiguously.

IN CONCLUSION:

I love films like these. Open to so many interpretations, ideas, theories, and whatnot, I'm Thinking of Ending Things studies the human psyche while also picking apart our very existence. It takes an older janitor, discontent with the life he's lived, and makes him take a journey of regretful reminiscence and depression. The film itself is an amalgamation of the need for self-actualization, purpose, and the inadequacy of direction we all face at a specific time in life. Do we have remorse for past choices in life? Would things be different now if we had changed one little aspect during the preceding years of our time here? To live as our ideal form of being, is fantasy the only door to satisfaction? The movie is impossible to pick apart thoroughly, and I have only dissected a small portion of what could be taken away from it; what I can confirm, although, is that this is Kaufman's magnum opus. A masterpiece of the highest order that brings everything shown in his previous works into one.