“Jungle Cruise” Film Review

junglecruise_publicity_stills_002_2k_cc_r709f_200305.jpg — 56/100 “sour”

By Quinn Marcus

I’ve personally never been on a Disney theme park ride, I went to Disney Land in France once, but it rained, my little sister wouldn’t stop screaming, and all of the rides were closed, so, that was fun. Anyway, I guess I’m trying to say that I’ve never been on the ride that inspired this film, and due to some of the reviews I’ve read, I believe it actually changes the whole experience, for better, or for worse. Alright, right off the bat, Jungle Cruise is not the next Pirates of the Caribbean, nor is it the next Indiana Jones, it’s almost the discount version of both of them, however, it was surprisingly not too bad. I adore adventure movies, they are truly a main form of escapism for me, from the witchcraft and wizardry of Harry Potter to the distant reaches of space with Interstellar (my fav film), I really enjoy this genre. The constant peril characters find themselves in, the mythic struggles and big, blockbuster finishes are always key aspects with these films, and yes, while Jungle Cruise just about ticks off every one of those boxes, does it bring its a-game with each one? The answer is a little more complicated than one might think.

Jungle Cruise tells the story of Dr. Lily Houghton in the early 20th century, who gains the help of witty skipper Frank Wolff to take her down the Amazon River in hopes of finding an ancient tree with the power to heal any disease, in an attempt to change the future of medicine for good.

I didn’t really have a major desire to watch this film, sure, I’d seen the trailer’s, and knew some info, but I really couldn’t care less, but when you have five siblings in the house who’ve just discovered a new fantasy movie on Disney+, it’s hard to get out of it. And besides, I love Emily Blunt, and The Rock, and pairing them together could be a great idea, that’s pretty much where the quality halts a tad for me. The two leads are practically the only reason to watch this film, everything and everyone else was, for the most part, pretty mediocre. Okay, but before I get to my main issues, what did I enjoy about this film. Well, the first half was like a cute version of Indiana Jones, and I was on board, the pacing was great, Emily Blunt made for an entertaining, lively protagonist, and I was actually having fun…for a while. The screenplay is easily the worst aspect for me, gratefully, The Rock does bring a little bit of his signature charm to spice up the otherwise poor writing, but in the end, there are so many plot conveniences, illogical character decisions, and issues with the second half, that I don’t even know where to start.

The main villain, this Prince Joachim is barely in the movie, and when you have an actor like Jesse Plemons, I expect the film to use him, he’s dreadfully unfunny and doesn’t make much impact whatsoever during the runtime. I won’t spoil, but later on, there are a few more antagonists that come into play, and the CGI used for them was almost video game-like, in fact, much of the visual effects weren’t that great, to be honest. Admittedly, there were a couple of exhilarating action scenes, but a lot of them just looked way too fake, it’s only when the clear usage of practical sets kicks in did it feel a little less artificial. One thing that also struck me about the second act was a compilation of very strange scenes, some involving this native tribe, and not gonna lie, it got pretty intense for a kid’s movie. It’s roughly 2hr 10mins runtime flew by like that, it didn’t feel too long, and my siblings weren’t bored at all, so that’s a plus.

After the first hour, it started to seem like the screenwriters kind of gave up and resorted to just writing things, because, during the last half, it felt like scenes and plot points were simply occurring, and didn’t serve a major purpose. And of course, because it’s Disney, the film doesn’t take too many risks towards the end which leads to some pretty iffy character choices that didn’t quite make sense to me. A certain character is saved by another, even though he said himself that he didn’t want to be saved, and that issue was left unresolved. I wish the film maintained its originally promising, lighthearted feel that I was beginning to love, but you could tell that the adventure lost its steam through the second and third acts. It also just became way too ridiculous to me, this whole subplot involving this Spanish conquistador was clearly rushed, only there to set up this shocking reveal that’s not very surprising.

Look, I can’t say I was disappointed mainly because I didn’t really want to watch this in the first place, you can tell it was based on a theme park ride as you’re watching. Jungle Cruise doesn’t bring anything fresh or new to the genre, but will definitely fulfill your need for a dumb, predictable, if reasonably fun adventure film that older kids will, without a doubt, enjoy. My 10-year-old brother had a blast with this movie, and if I was his age, I bet I would too, but there’s just too many issues and writing mistakes that led to a very average experience, but because I know kids will love it, and I’m feeling nice today, I’ll give it a few extra points, even if it didn’t exactly earn it.